Nike Nation

While reading this past Sunday's Chicago Tribune, I noticed something interesting. There was a picture of two iraqi boys displaying a banner of their mullah who had been killed in the recent bombing of a mosque. One of the boys was wearing a shirt with the Nike Swoosh Logo. This gave me an idea.

According to some dubious sources the Iraqi resistance to US occupation in Iraq is growing. While I have no doubt that there are significant numbers of Iraqis that aren't thrilled with the American presence, I suspect most Iraqis are very happy to see the troops. Still, there is a vocal opposition to the continued presence of the US.

It has long mystified me how various countries around the world could hate our guts so much and yet latch onto our cultural icons. The Nike Swoosh is a good example. Perhaps if my idea for new US Army uniforms was used, all of the Iraqis would welcome us with open arms.

An extra benefit of the newly designed uniforms, such as the helmet shown at left, is that we could defray some of the costs of the war. Perhaps, we could get corporations to sponsor our military operations. For example, Operation Enduring Freedom would become Operation Enduring Freedom brought to you by Oil of Olay.

Maybe we're just not taking this Cultural Imperialism thing far enough. Just think how much they would love us if we put someone like Michael Jordan in charge!

Despite my initial enthusiasm for this idea, I'm thinking that it may not work. If we outfitted all of our soldiers with the new Nike uniforms, it would probably turn out that all the Baathists in Iraq are Adidas fans on account of that special - " Buy two missile parts, get a pair of sneakers " sale put on by the French Govt before the war.