Perhaps you've seen Kerry and Bush compared on the more substantive issues of the day. Well, now you can see them compared on some of the lesser issues including such crucial areas as Snappiest Dresser, Best Speech Giver, and Most Attractive Wife. Read on to see these two go head to head on six different areas.
Snappiest Dresser
George Bush: Looks good in a suit or in a pair of cowboy duds. This President gig has given him a variety of opportunites to wear a vast array of costumes.
John Kerry: Looks okay in a suit or while gliding the ice wearing a pair of hockey skates.
Decision: Tie
Best Speech Giver
George Bush: Not exactly a fiery orator he has, nonetheless, given some memorable speeches.
John Kerry: Usually exhibits a stilted manner of speech reminiscent of Tom Brokaw. When he's not dreadfully boring he's trying to work up some outrage that doesn't quite come off as being very genuine. Maybe it's his East Coast background.
Decision: Bush
Most Erudite Offspring
George Bush: The Bush twins have demonstrated a propensity for partying. Perhaps they'll grow into something a little more challenging.
John Kerry: I'm not sure about the rest of his kids, but his daughter, Vanessa Kerry, is an effective spokesperson for her father's campaign. She appears poised and relaxed in front of the cameras.
Decision: Kerry
Most Attractive Wife
George Bush: Laura Bush has an understated elegance and class.
John Kerry: Theresa Heinz Kerry seems like a nice enough lady but she looks to me like she could turn witchy on a moment's notice.
Decision: Bush
Most Handsome Candidate
George Bush: Through the eyes of cartoonists he's been convincingly caricatured as looking a little like a monkey or Alfred E Neuman of Mad Magazine fame.
John Kerry: He hasn't really had a chance yet to be fully defined as a caricature. He's got this long face and a protruding chin. He's been called "Treebeard" and, to me, anyway, he bears some resemblance to Jay Leno.
Decision: Bush by a nose
Coolest House
George Bush: It's hard to beat the appeal of a Texas Ranch.
John Kerry: His Beacon Hill residence screams old money.
Decision: Bush
