Crucial Debate Issues

In tonight's debate you'll likely hear about such issues as Iraq, The War on Terror, the economy and perhaps more about the Global Test. What you won't hear are some other crucial proposals that could use some attention:

1. Provide free broadband internet access to every man, woman and child in America.
2. Ban speed limits on interstates.
3. Allow drivers to fire paintballs at other drivers that annoy them.
4. Ban all canned laughter from sitcoms
5. Pass a Constitutional Ammendment against hiphuggers.
6. Appoint a "speediness czar" to find out why lines don't move faster
7. Ban the sale of Beagles. (Surely one of the stupidest animals on the face of the planet.)
8. Force movie theaters to return the price of a movie ticket if the previews and commercials last more than 10 minutes.
9. Imprison people who have lengthy cell phone conversations in a public place.
10. Encourage airlines to return to the days when they only hired attractive young women to be stewardesses
11. Make diet commercials illegal