A Very Perfect Merry Christmas

Every Christmas I get at least one "newsletter" type of Christmas card from someone I haven't seen in a very long time. Usually it goes something like this,

Dear Friends, Merry Christmas from the [fill in the blank]'s! We hope this holiday season finds you well.

We are very blessed. _____'s job making incredible amounts of money is going very well. He/She just received a big promotion to Senior _____ and has the perfect job. ____'s career is really taking off too. She is working from home and recently was named "person of the year" at work.

____ is really enjoying staying home with our adorable children, ___ and ___. Their pre-school teacher says she has never seen two more intelligent well-adjusted children. Of course, there was that little incident where ___ did [some kind of disgusting behavior that only parents would think is cute]. Isn't that just an incredible laugh riot? We've enclosed some photos so you can hang them up in your house and marvel at these two perfect specimens.

For vacation this year we went to beautiful [fill in the name of some incredibly cool place here] where we [fill in the name of some incredibly expensive activity]. Our guide said he had never seen such a great family. (We've added him to our Christmas card list --- Hi Juan!)

We doubt we'll make any contact with you throughout the year but we'll be sure to update you on our incredible life in a Christmas card next year.

Happy Holidays!

The _______'s